15 Traits of Irresistible People

In a world where looking good is no more a genetic trait (blame it on the makeup or the dressing hacks) and where skills can be developed over the internet, there is a secret that boils down to who we are within! Ever wondered why a particular person around you, always radiate with such a positive energy/vibes that you feel enamored with this charming personality, with whom you can be as real and open as possible. They’re not only the people you turn to for a piece of advice, help or support but also, they’re the one who brings out the best in you!

And often you are left wondering, what do they have that you don’t, isn’t?? Well, the answer is seemingly simple, their sense of self-worth comes from within. They don’t constantly search for social validation, because they know doing or saying things just to impress people doesn’t go a long way and prevent a real connection from forming!

What is it that these people have that you need to develop? Read on to know how to become a person, who, multiplies positive energy in the people around them!!

  1. Draw the Line: When we meet someone, we want to know all about them from the schools they have been to, to their past and their demons. The irresistible people keep the focus on the positives and leave out the negative traits of the people around them. They know how to maintain one’s private space and are conscious about their private space too.
  1. Don’t try too hard to get others to like you: Well the most important trait of irresistible people: they don’t dominate the conversation with stories about how smart and successful they are! No one likes people who just can’t stop bragging about themselves, simple, right?

 

  1. Art of Real and Deep Conversation often makes People come Alive: Well, you can never form an emotional connection during a conversation, if you stick to small talk only. The fact is, no one likes robotic or mechanical connection, quite simple, right? So, rule of thumb is, ditch the small talk, create connection and find depth even in shortest, and everyday conversations!
  1. Make others laugh and learn to steal a laugh too: No other trick is as old as laughing out loud and making the people around you laugh too. Keep the jokes clean and if you are in a bad mood or want to lash back, add the message subtly to it! Everybody loves to be around people who can guarantee a stress-free time.
  1. Treat People the Way You want to be Treated: Even though the rule to respect everybody is a no brainer, some people just don’t understand it. It is important to treat others as you want them to treat you. Irresistible people are consistently polite and respectful, be it, interacting with their potential business partner or domestic help or a server taking their food order, they are great at reading other people, and they adjust their style and behavior to make others feel comfortable!
  1. Be a Person of Integrity: People with high integrity do what is right, not what is easy. They walk their talk, plain and simple, with no drama involved! Integrity is not something you show to others, it’s how you behave behind their back! On the contrary, people these days focus more time and energy faking perfection, and often become good lawyers of their own mistakes, but very good judges for the mistakes of others, so, how to get there?? Well, decide which side of the scale you want to be at, simple!
  1. Focus on People Not Things: Well, some people have tendencies to glorify their underachievement. And no one likes to be around the people who spend much time thinking and talking about themselves only, highly self-obsessed, isn’t it? On the contrary, irresistible people don’t obsess over how well they are accepted by others. Instead they focus more on people they are with, it’s what make them seem so effortless. Well, to make this work for you, try putting aside your smart phone and focus on the people you’re with. We all love people who possess a genuine interest in the people around them, isn’t it?
  1. Never Overdo: While there are many people who have all the above traits, there are those who always overdo it- be it chats, the need to gossip, habit to show off, dress up, even cracking jokes or highlighting their achievements or often times under achievements. Think about it, how impressed are you by people who constantly want to say something mean or witty or someone who wants to overdo things to grab attention, boast of, or belittling others in the need to show themselves better? Try to strike a balance – from your speech to your behavior to your work life and even your social life, striking a balance is the key!
  1. Be comfortable in your skin: Some people have doubts about their looks and about their skills. The truth is, at times people try too hard to be something that people think is ‘irresistible’. So, as much as the people around you admire, people who drive the expensive car, use the latest gadgets or dress up just appropriate, you really have to leave out the idea of impressing someone and be comfortable with who you are. “Be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else!”
  1. Dress to look your best but don’t over-do it: In a world where style and dressing sense can truly rule, take a walk around your favorite mall to discover what suits your personality and what complements your natural self. Take some time to set your hair, clean up those dusty shoes and carry a bag that has a structure. Do know that even if you pile up on fashion magazines, they can only be used to highlight your own traits, so, you know the trick now!
  1. Authenticity and High Moral Fiber goes a Long way: The most important trait of irresistible people: they are real and authentic. And, as a law of nature, people gravitate towards the people who are real and genuine because you know you can trust them, true, hmm…? So, there is a golden rule- ‘Respect Everyone’. Stand up for the one who is right, make someone’s life easy by helping them or giving them an ear when someone wants to talk, simple as that!
  1. Make smiling your ‘Go to’ Trait: If you are the kind who gets annoyed on every small detail of your day, try to replace that frown, which so easily comes to our face, with an intentional smile. If this is too much to ask, try to start and end any meeting with a flash of those pearly whites and you have just cracked one of the biggest life hacks in the world!
  1. Accept Opinions like a Pro: The world revolves around what everyone thinks. Think about it- twitter rules the social media scene. While everyone is too busy giving an opinion of someone’s new bag, fashion sense, work life or even their display picture on Facebook! An extension of that is people having opinions about you too. Think of it as you wearing green glasses and someone else wearing red ones. The world for you will be green while the world for the other person will be red. Hence, learn to hear opinions and understanding that they are not facts. Irresistible people know the difference between two pretty well. Also, they recognize that many people who are just as intelligent as they are see things differently, that’s absolutely okay!
  1. Never Shy Away from Being Yourself: Authenticity is something you cannot replace-especially if you want to be a real and confident person and swoon people with you charm. Embrace your faults and be sure about your likes and dislikes and stay honest about them. Don’t like Game of Thrones? Time to come clean! Develop your positives, irresistible people have a common knowledge of what they are good at and they always keep it in the forefront. If you are a good singer, a good conversationalist or a great listener, a poet or writer, a workaholic or simply someone who loves to start their day with meditation or a long jog, keep developing that skill and get others involved in that part of your life. Soon it will become synonymous to your personality.
  1. Live the Life to the Fullest: Irresistible people enjoy, what they have, where they are and who they are, they’re self-assured, confident and don’t constantly look for validations. They are positive and passionate about things they do. They believe in living a life that feels good on the inside, not a life that just looks good on the outside. So, keep calm, live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive!!

Well anyone can learn these appealing traits and qualities as their own. All you need is, to allow yourself some time to embrace these tips and soon you will be in a room to become the heart and soul of the place. Well, it’s simple, focus more on people around you than yourselves, and make other people feel liked, respected, understood, and gotten. After all, we are all puzzles trying to figure out who we truly are. Just remember one thing: the more you focus on others genuinely, the more irresistible you’ll be!

Don’t forget to share these life hacks with someone else and make someone feel good about themselves too!

                   -UrWellnessBuddy Blogs

16 Life lessons from the movie “Dear Zindagi”

“Dear Zindagi” surprised the audience with the remarkably noteworthy storyline but what truly steals the show, is the way a charming and ambitious but messy and completely screwed up 20-something girl, Koko- finds her way through the mess of an adult life by meeting Jug (her Psychologist). A movie so nicely carved out at the nuances of life indeed gave us some serious notes.

For all the stress, anxiety and sheer dead ends that our generation has to come face to face with, the film is a breath of fresh air that gave some simple yet big life goals to anyone who wants to cope with the cons in life and come out of it like a true winner. Almost every 20-something would have been able to relate with this movie with their moment of “Ouch, it’s me!” during the movie. To break it down to you, read on to find 16 powerful life lessons that made the movie a keeper!

  1. Believe in second chances:

dg1The beauty of life is in seeing things unfold for the second time. Give second chances to your passion, your career choices and the people that you instinctually know can do better. Most importantly, we need to give our parents second chance too, so do your homework and call ’em up today! 🙂

  1. Make Self-respect your Second skin:

dg2Self-respect, especially for a woman is considered only if it can conveniently serve someone else. Make sure your self-respect becomes your second nature- something that people cannot detach you with and soon you will only be approached by people who multiply your energy. Ego is negative but self-respect is positive and necessary, don’t let someone get comfortable with disrespecting you!

  1. On the mind, on your face:

dg3As children, we are often made to express the opposite of what we feel. Made to smile when we are angry and made to appear calm when we are a chaotic mess. Soon we enter relationships and we are left clueless why people misunderstand us. Quite tricky, right? Keep it simple. Express sadness with tears, happiness with laughter and anxiety with a talk that addresses just that. It’s as simple as that!

  1. Everyone has to find themselves:

 dg4In the deleted scenes (yes, we believe in seeing what is left out too!), Jug takes Koko to a fort and reveals the story of Donna Maria who came to Goa from Brazil and stayed here for 20 years. She lived 14 of those years as a man to survive and lived deceptively as Balthazar (a soldier). After fighting in many battles, Balthazar was injured and her doctor found out her secret. Scared to death, she came out to tell her story that was accepted with admiration and respect. Lesson u ask?? You need to find yourself again even if you are lost in a world of imagination that you have created.

  1. “Find your Chair”:

 dg5The most famous thought form the movie holds on to the idea of trying out different things and even meeting many people before you settle down with your life partner. If you cannot buy a chair without choosing, how can you make such a hasty decision with your life partner?

  1. Stay away from Judgments:

 dg6The whole society dwells on judgments. And that is exactly what you should repel. Avoid judging other people and their life choice and stand up for yourself when people are judging you. Be yourself, be proud of your choices and don’t let other bog you down with their judgement.

  1. Accept your past for a better future:

 dg7The hardest thing we can relate to is why we have certain preconceived fears and notions in our life. The answer is always in the past. Reflect back into your life and try to find why you are unhappy with your current life. Accept your past but don’t live there!

  1. If you can have an easy way, have it!

dg8In times when life is real hard to get by, if you have something that makes your life easy, do it. Just remember that your self-respect, values and morals should not be compromised and if it helps, take help!

  1. Hard decisions don’t guarantee success:

 dg9The most successful people often talk about their struggling years and we as the new generation have accepted struggling as a part of success. Stitch this thought and if having a day job means you can moonlight as an artist without worrying about paying bills, do it!

  1. Talk to your family:

dg10The hardest conversations are with our family members. Sit down and talk to them at least 30 minute in a week and you will see just how much there is to talk about. Listen to them about their circumstances and problems and how they coped and talk about your struggles and daily life too. We are so busy in our lives, we often forget they are growing old too, so talk to them as and when possible!

  1. Seek professional help for mental health and emotional well-being:

 dg11.pngThe taboo of mental health means by the time you do accept that you need professional help, there will be someone who will ridicule the idea of you visiting a Psychologist or Counsellor. Do know that the professional can at least give you an added perspective and really help to solve your problems. Thanks indeed to Gauri Shinde for bringing this most avoided topic to mainstream conversation through her cinema. Talking about grief, depression, emotional challenges and being sad over the dinner table is completely normal.

  1. Be Kind to yourself:

 dg12.jpgThe most understated fact in this growing world of rat race is the need to criticize oneself for, be it looks, career choices or relationships in the need to be better. Take some time off and truly cherish your current yet true self. Accept that you have flaws and that they make you unique. Well, making mistakes is anytime better than faking perfection!

  1. The More, the merrier? Probably not!

dg13The most inconvenient task in the world is to make living, have a job, take some time out for yourself and entertain a huge number of colleagues and acquittance. So, the solution is to restrict the number of people you spend quality time with – you closest buddies and your family is all you will ever need. “Quality of friends” is more important than “Quantity of friends”. A real friend is one who walks in, when the rest of the world walks out, who wouldn’t change whether your situation was 10 times better or worse. They are your real wealth, never lose them!

  1. Relish in the smaller things in life:

 dg14In the rate race of having a better lifestyle, we are stuck in a haze with the world rushing by. Amidst the late-night meetings, job deadline, relationship goals and fitness classes, take some time off to admire the simple things in life, like a cup of coffee on a rainy day, reading your favorite book, a nap with you kid, cuddling with your partner, and mindless walk in the evening with some good music or just chit-chatting with your spouse over a cup of tea (my personal fav! 🙂 ).

‘Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.’

  1. Know that nothing is a 100% perfect:

 dg15The most dreadful disappointments happen when you are left stuck with the idea that perfection exists. From the ground, you walk onto the paintings of the biggest artists, to the most beautiful face you will ever see, know that perfection is the opposite of uniqueness. And as the idea of perfection changes, so does the idea of happiness. 

  1. Leave the idea of being ‘Normal’ or to “Fit in”:

 dg16The term ‘Normal’ is probably one of the most overrated terms ever used. Some people think having a 9 to 5 job is normal or being married by 25 is normal and any combination above and beyond that is considered either a taboo or a disappointment. Let go of the notion of being Normal and Fitting-in and you will see beauty in your craziness and uniqueness. Don’t try to fit in when you were born to stand out!

 

The stunning movie eaves nothing to the imagination and is simply a letter to life from life. We hope these pointers help you to cope with your inner and outer demons. After all, you are your biggest strength and your weakness. As long as you are being true to yourself, you will always find inner peace and priceless happiness! 🙂

 

  -UrWellnessBuddy Blogs

Reason for student suicide and 11 ways we can prevent it!

With youngsters committing suicide almost every hour in the country (according to 2015 data (the latest available) from the National Crime Records Bureau), the need for evaluating a student’s life has become a national issue. The pressure these kids go through is something we all can relate to in terms of hectic schedules, intense competition, urge to win the rat race and a fire and desire to be the best at something or nothing at all, rides on the fact that we as humans are getting tangled in the silly needs of making someone else happy. We all have someone who is young and confused and may be heading towards depression or a vacuum.

mental-1831391_960_720.png

When we were children, we had limited access to the internet, played with baggy hand me downs and weren’t worried about having a career, were we? Today’s generation does not have this privilege and more often than not parents start shaping their child’s career from as early as 4 years onwards! With the need to earn more, score more and own more, it is we- the parents, who need to address the issue on a personal level with our children. Adding fuel to fire, the rape cases, murders at offices, scanty jobs and the ever-growing lifestyle that defines what is cool and what’s not, and you have a cocktail that is made for depression, Think about it !!

If you are wondering how to figure out if your kid or someone else is depressed or simply how to reach out to someone before an acute depression or a possible suicide, you must read on.

  1. Understand and explain the difference between good grades and success: The worries of many students are the sheer completion and hence the grades are made to sound like something that will change your life. What we need to do is to understand that good grades don’t necessarily turn to a happy and successful life.
  1. Talk it out: The best way to make sure any person around you copes with depression is to talk about it. Address the issue at hand and be frank and kind enough to figure out a pattern and to come up with a fresh new perspective to avoid isolation and anxiety. If you get awkward talking to your child, try to connect more by spending some quality time together by taking up a sport together or by finding a common interest, listening is caring!
  1. Talk about the Big picture: The one thing that most parents swear by is by always talking about the larger things in life. When your child is depressed, talk about the higher goals in life. Helping each other out, reaching out to the poor and needy people and discussing about real things helps keep a perspective that is bigger and have a greater sense of purpose. In real time, it will help your child to think about things that are far more bigger and better and how to truly contribute to society, this in turn will help them have a happier and truly meaningful life.
  1. Make it Gradual: Students dealing with depression often break away from people who want to show pity. We say take it slow and keep the discussion short, simple and positive. Make sure you are consistent with talking to your child every week over a cup of hot chocolate or a quick bite.
  1. Lend your Ear: The idea to listen without judging anyone is something that we all need to work upon. Try to listen more and without forming extreme conclusions. Remember that we all are human and that errors are a part of life. The results will not only astound you but will inspire you as well.
  1. To Travel is to Grow: There is no better way to get out of your headspace than to travel. Explore people, places and cultures to keep the stagnant negativity at bay and see the world from a different point of view. Make sure you explore the new places like a local and truly rejoice the hustle bustle of the non-touristy places.
  1. Share your Experiences with your Kids but Don’t Spoon-feed them: Talking about how you cope with your life does make a whole world of difference to someone who is just getting to see, how life can be. Loading your kids with your own experiences and learnings will not make any difference as your experience are not going to match their unknown future. Instead, you should focus on providing them with the ability to differentiate between right and wrong, the strength and courage to step out of a situation on their own or seek help if needed, and most importantly the freedom to express their true feelings and trust to make their own decisions, and learn through it. Talk about how you coped with depression, tricky situations and always end with a happy note that will leave a pump of positivity without spoon-feeding them.
  1. Talk to a professional: In many cases, depression is something that people grow to have prejudices about. In cases where you just can’t seem to help others, seek the help of a an online counselor or professional psychologist to address the issue, analytically or clinically.
  1. Meditate: There is no better truth than seeking what is inside our soul and the best way to get there is by meditating every day. The journey inward is the one that counts and soon you will start accepting your whole self- your positives and negatives and your true nature. Result? You will not care much about what people think of you. This in turn will leave you more confident, positive and self-assured.
  1. Define your own idea of success: There is no better way to be successful than to define what success means to you. If you want to be a musician, a C+ in Math will mean nothing more than that. Start early and explore just what you want to do with your life and don’t wait for someone to define it for you. Money does help to survive but it does not guarantee a happy and satisfied life.
  1. Set an example: Children absorb the auras of their parents and if they see you having a good sense of humor and leading a happy-healthy life, you are bound to leave your child wanting to feel the same! Start with small steps and teach your child to laugh on criticism, stand up for bullies and grow in something that they love not what you or society want them to become.

Student suicide has its roots in how we have defined the society and to de-condition our thinking about how students should live their lives, is something that needs to change. The best way to deal with suicide possibilities is by making sure isolation, bullying and anxiety are addressed in every home and that teachers combine forces with parents to make sure students stay curious about learning and exploring life not merely surviving the rat race!!

                                                                                                      -UrWellnessBuddy Blogs

“Everyone faces challenges in life that can feel overwhelming and can impact us in very significant and unique ways. If you or someone you know have depression, stress, anxiety, anger, pressure or grief become seemingly insurmountable to the point that it impacts your/ their daily functioning. It’s about time that you must seek some help and vent out. Talk to our Wellness Coach at UrWellnessBuddy, because we all deserve a happy and fulfilling life !”

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is at risk of self-harm or suicide, please contact your nearest hospital immediately!